
The
Horse’s Rules of Monsters Encountered when out Riding…
All riders should know these
important 'facts'...(!)
-
The first
horse in line wakes up the monsters and is in no danger.
-
The horse at
the end of the ride gets eaten first.
-
Monsters can
eat you more easily if you are near the hedge
-
Monsters can
hear you more clearly when you are going away from home. On the way home they
can't hear you very well, especially if you go faster.
-
Monsters can
partially disguise themselves as ordinary objects. Mailboxes and lines on the
roads are common disguises. Humans fall for this all the time, but horses
don't.
-
Monsters can
also easily change into scary flying things like paper bags or butterflies
that can eat you instantly.
-
The reason
"experienced" trail horses don't run from monsters is that they're all tough
and stringy and don't taste good. They're safe. Monsters loooooooove tender
sweet young mares.
-
Horses who
haven't been out on the trail for a while taste much better than horses who
are out all the time.
-
Horses are
temporarily immune to monster attacks while being fed treats. Mealtimes are
also safe.
-
The size of a
culvert or drain is inversely proportionate to the size of the monster within;
big monsters live in small drains and small monsters live in big ones.
-
There’s
always a monster inside tractors, combined harvesters and diesel powered
trucks and cars
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Updated
05/02/2012